Dear Santa . . .

[Willie1]

I got bored a couple years ago and penned my letter to Santa, pleading my case. Every now and then I tweak it and repost it on Facebook. Figured I'd share it here for the believers. I broke it into two pages to make the type bigger.

 

[Thepartsguy]

Dear Santa it intrigues me that with such wide open space you managed to run over grandma! Also alarming is we never found her! I‘m having a hard time contacting the elves? I’m also having trouble contacting your mailman (your only other visitor). If a timely response Isn’t issued I’ll have to assume the worst. The elves and mailman are in on it. Leave a “70 roadrunner with a clean title under the Mat and 3 million cash in the trunk in my side yard and I will pursue the matter of finding grandma no further.

who see’s you when your sleeping and knows when your awake? NSA’s employee of the month.

Your‘s truly ~~ Thepartsguy

 

[BaconBitRacing]

Dear Santa: We have been investigating your breaches of fourth amendment rights. We've also been looking into how you fund your operations. It seems you fund in two main ways: elf slave labor and cocaine trafficking. You also launder money, steal huge numbers of cookies, and break into millions of homes a year. We will take you to court, and you will be convicted. Thankfully, I have the power to make this all go away. Load up an '88 Land Cruiser with $20m in gold bars and two elves, then get it to the return address on this letter by 6:00am Christmas morning and your problems will all go away.

~~BaconBit

 

[Denny]

Dear Santa,
I know where you sleep at night, enough said.

Denny

 

[Willie1]

Dear Santa,
I know where you sleep at night, enough said.

Denny

And WHO you are sleeping with. Pictures available upon request.

 

[Denny]

I sleep with just my dog. And he’d bite me if I tried anything!